Fun With Printers

Amy sits down at her computer desk. She looks lovingly over at Old Faithful, her printer. She give him a nice little pat.

Amy: Hello lovely Lexmark! Today we’re going to print out some nice emails. Would you like to do that?

Printer:……..

Amy: Okay, so I’ll copy and paste this note from James into Word. Fine. That’s done.

Printer: (Lights up ‘Printer Jam’ light)

Amy: Um, okay, but I haven’t touched or clicked anything yet so I….

Printer: (Pulsates ‘Printer Jam’ light)

Amy: Right! So something fell down inside, obviously. I’ll just lift up your bonnet and have a look. (Moves closer to printer.)

Printer: click

Amy: No, no, no….I haven’t touched you.

Printer: click, click

Amy: HA HA! Soooo, you must have a printer job left from this afternoon or something. Fine. I’ll just….wait, wait…it’s what? Control panel, and then you find..

Printer: WHIRL WHIRL HUMMMMM WHIRL WHIRL CLICK CLICK CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA (as the printer grabs all the paper and churns it through, shooting paper out at 300 miles per hour and spreading black ink in a three mile radius.)

Printer: click

Amy: Oh you stupid piece of £$$***…..Oh I can’t believe what a stupid £%%* !!!……

Printer: ……

Amy: Right! I’m leaving it! I’m leaving it! Stupid! Stupid f*cking machine!

Printer:……..

Amy leaves room

Printer:…….(lights up ‘Printer Jam’ button.)

FIN